Fathers absent from families. Break down of the family structure. Young men growing up without male role models in their lives.
You can watch or read or hear it everywhere, both from the right, the left and the center.
The prolem is what do we do about absent fathers? What do we do about the break down of the family structure? What do we do about you men and women growing up without male role models in their lives?
This has really irritated me the past couple of days, hearing people point to this as one of the problems with Baltimore, and Ferguson, and everywhere else in the United States where there is social ill, economic ill, and people struggling in poverty.
People bring up this problem and I think, "Ok, then what?"
Are you going to force all men and women who have children to marry? Are you going to force fathers to spend time with their children? Are you going to outlaw divorces?
I mean, you point at a problem, but what is your solution? If you outlaw divorces, what about couples that cheat in marriages with another person and have a child with that person? What about abusive people? If the woman or the man forced to stay in a marriage where they are abused physically or mentally?
If that is your solution to it, outlawing divorces, what is the penalty for separations? Is that the same as a divorce? Will this solution bring the fathers back into the family structure or will it be fathers that come home, sit on the couch and ignore their children?
Will you force people to marry that have a child out of wedlock? Will you punish parents for ignoring their children? A child breaks a window and you send the parent to jail for not spending enough time with the child to explain to the child that it is wrong to break windows?
What if the parent has stressed over and over again that it is wrong to do something, like shoplift, but that child does it anyways because of some sort of peer pressure? Will you send that parent to jail cause their child refused to listen to their parent's warnings and teachings?
What standards will you set for parents that are raising good children versus parents that are raising bad children? Is a child caught by law enforcement doing something wrong a bad child? Is a child that does not get caught by law enforcement doing something wrong a good child?
Is it fair that 2 children shoplift but only one is caught and therefore the parent of the child caught faces the consequences of the child's actions? What lead to the child being caught? Dumb luck or was the other child also observed shoplifting also, but the person that observed it decided not to act on the action?
Is a good parent a parent that teaches their child how not to be caught?
What other things will parents be required to do? Will parents get in trouble for not attending parent teacher conferences? Is that the minimum a parent must do or will a parent be responsible for their child's grades? What if grades are based on subjective things?
All these questions pop up, when the break down of the family structure, absent fathers and role models for troubled children. And yet, I think, "How about the morning after pill, and politicians forcing children on people because of a method of birth control did not work. Even Sarah Palin, who preached abstinence, had a daughter that got pregnant, ignoring the teachings of abstinence. Sure, it really was not practicing abstinence, that failed, but the failure to practice abstinence.
But to force everyone to have children because you don't approve of this form of birth control or that form of birth control does not seem like the solution to the break down of the family structure. In fact, it seems like it is one of the things that causes the break down of the family structure, forcing children on people before they are ready for children.
Also, what about all the troubled children from 2 parent families and all the prized children from single parent families. Does this not point to other causes for troubled teens rather then just growing up with 2 parents? If 2 parents is good, isn't 3 parents better then 2 parents and 4 parents better then 3 parents, so why stop at a 2 parent family structure.
Not to mention, really, before the 20th century, it was never a 2 parent family structure, but rather a bit more then that, with grandma and/or grandpa living in the household or next door, and an aunt or uncle maybe.
And even then, there was still something called crime. Even when the 2 parent family structure was introduced in the early part of the 20th century, crime still happened and continued to happen. Poverty even existed, as there was something called the great depression, where everybody was poor, or at least a major percentage of the United States society. Government created ways to create jobs, from creating the Tennessee Volunteer Authority, which hired anybody wanting a job to dig a ditch or pave a road.
There was also Social Security created which said, if you worked all of your young life, when you got older, you could stop working and receive money from the government to live on for buying food and paying rent. This money came from people working and paying into a system that paid people over a certain age. Later, it was based on your annual income over your lifetime that decided how much you received in your retirement age.
So, maybe, not forcing people to have children would be a start to solving the break down of the family structure, letting them have children and raise children when they think they are ready to have and raise children. Also, maybe supporting those that are raising children, whether in a single parent or 2 parent family structure.
Would it not be nice if parents actually could have extra time to go to that parent teacher conference, or attend a child's activities? Instead of somebody working 40 hours or 60 hours or 80 hours a week provide food and shelter for their children, maybe helping them attain that food and shelter would mean they would have more time to spend with their children.
You could say, support a minimum wage where a person would not have to work 80 hours to provide the income it takes to raise a family. Or you could stop your war against food stamps, or whatever food program that provides food for raising a family. Maybe you could support affordable housing that allows for easily obtained structures for raising a family. Would not more parents spending time with children be part of the solution to the social ills?
If you talk about the break down of the family structure, but preach against the right to decide when to start a family, or preach against wealth redistribution, or against welfare programs, then maybe, just shut up and don't even talk about the break down of the family structure, absent fathers, and role models. After all, how good of a role model are you if you complain about something but are against the solutions to solve what you complain about?